The Little Ol’ Lady (LOL) who came in for “cough” provided me with a variety of possible explanations for her “cough every few...
Me:: I've got the flu. I have greasy five-day-unwashed hair. I look like I'm wearing the contents of a charity clothing bin. My pants are tucked into my socks. And I'm perving on VS models. I feel weird man.
Mike:: Oh dude. Not the best image.
Old lady:: I was using a steroid cream, I can't remember the name.
Me:: The only one I can give you without a prescription is hydrocortisone.
Old lady:: Yes but I want to remember what it's called. Can you just tell me the names of a few of them?
Me:: There are quite a few... Are you sure?
Old lady:: Yes, just give me some examples.
Me:: Advantan? Antroquoril? Aristocort? Cortic DS? Celestone? Daivobet? Daivonex? Diprosone? Diprosone OV? Eleuphrat? Elocon? Novasone? Sigmacort? Tricortone?
Old lady:: Keep going...
Me:: I think it's quicker if you just go home to fetch your old tube.
Man:: Can you show me your circulation machine?
Me:: Sure, the Circulation Booster here is great for people with swelling in their -
Man:: No! No! I said I need something to measure my blood pressure, this doesn't do that!
Me:: Okay no problem. We have a range of blood pressure monitors here. The price difference comes mainly from their additional features and branding but they will all accurately measure your blood pressure -
Man:: Wait, no! I don't want this! I said I wanted something to measure my blood glucose!
Me:: Either I have become completely deaf or the calibre of our clientele has reached a new low.
“If you want to improve a person in a certain spect, act as though that particular trait were already one of his or her outstanding characteristics.”
Woman:: I had a box of Diabex 500 mg put aside for me this morning
Woman:: Yeah they're hard to get.
Me:: Are you not happy with the other available brands?
Woman:: Look, how do I explain this. I am not sure whether I will be able to have them, is that clear? Can we just leave it at that?
Me:: Um, sure.
Woman:: So anyway, I'm actually not taking Diabex anymore.
Woman:: But before I sort it out with my doctor, can you just keep a box aside for me until next Monday? (Today is Tuesday. Diabex is out of stock from our suppliers. We have three boxes on the shelf)
Woman's partner:: Honey that's a whole week, are you sure...
Woman:: No it's not, it's only six days
Woman:: By the way, I don't plan to frequent this pharmacy, so can you please give me my safety net stickers so I can give them to my regular chemist?
Me:: *puts Diabex back on the shelf*